How to Comfort Someone Who Has Been Diagnosed with Prostate Cancer

How to Comfort Someone Who Has Been Diagnosed with Prostate Cancer
Living & Loving with Prostate Cancer When I was first diagnosed with prostate cancer, I began the process of informing friends and family. As I shared the news, I was hoping to receive comfort and support. That's not what happened. Most of the people I told responded by sharing a chilling story of their own about someone in their life who died from cancer. Looking back, I realize the story they told me was a window into what it was like to hear the news. At the time, their stories increased my anxiety and fears. Here's two examples of misguided comforting.
  •  "I'm so sorry you have prostate cancer. That's what killed my father." After this comment I took a month-long break before telling another healthy person I had prostate cancer.
  • *"Why are you complaining or think you need support? You've been cured of cancer and you should be feeling grateful."
There is a well-intentioned belief that providing good comfort involves saying something to make emotional pain less painful. If that's your goal,  the odds are you will say something the hurting person feels is foolish, unhelpful, or worse, will alienate the hurting person from you and other people. Telling someone who was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer they have "the good cancer"  is not remotely helpful. In fact, a such a foolish comment could damage your friendship. Here's my solution for those who'd like to bec
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Rick Redner received his master’s degree in social work from Michigan State University. He has spent many years working as a medical and psychiatric social worker He is the author of the award winning book I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours? His second book Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants won the Beverly Hills International Book Awards in Men's Health in 2016. Additionally, the book was a winner in the 2017 IAN Book of the Year Awards.

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